We have officially been back in the USA for 48 days. We've had the joy of spending lots of time with family and friends. We've done Christmas, celebrated New Years, and just like we expected, reality is beginning to set in and we are beginning to realize we aren't going back to Australia. Honestly life the past couple weeks has been very challenging for me. There has been a lot of fear and anxiety about what is next, what if we never find jobs, what if we are never able to afford our own place, what if I won't have the opportunity to one day be a mom and really I could go on and on and on but to simply put it, I found myself losing heart.
My mind is a dangerous battleground and without me continually focusing and pouring God's life giving truth into it, it blows up. Then doing my devotional the other night I came across these verses in Jeremiah 17:
5 This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
I began to ask myself, is my life reflecting the life of a dried up disgusting bush or a flourishing tall standing tree? And when I honestly answered that question I realized that more times than not, I am looking like a wasteland dwelling bush. And I knew immediately, this is not the life God has for me. But what was wrong? There it was, one word in verse 7... Confidence.
The verse says that those who have confidence in God will be like trees. Those with confidence in man or flesh will be like the bush. I knew my mind was wavering because my confidence was not where it should be.
These verses talk about the heat that life brings. Right now, Dane and I are searching for jobs, trying to figure out where we want to locate, and just getting by. We are feeling the heat. I don't write this for your pity. I write this because I think a lot of you out there often find yourself in these tough situations. The stay at home parent who has put their life on hold to raise their kids, the business person who is watching their hopes and dreams fall apart around them, the student who has no idea what they want to do with their lives, the married couple who can't seem to get along, the patient awaiting the next test result from the doctor, the family who doesn't know how food is going to make it on the table. Life is going to bring tough times that will test you. And the question you must ask yourself when you face these situations is, where is your confidence? Because the answer to that question determines if you will make it out standing on the other side.
I don't know about you, but I want to be like this tree. Always with green flourishing leaves, always looking out over a peaceful stream no matter how chaotic the world around me is getting, and always bearing life-giving fruit. And the one who gives me that life is Jesus.
After reading and reflecting on these verses a peace came over me. I can have confidence that God will give us jobs. I can have confidence that He will set us up in the right place. I can have confidence that He will provide for our needs. I can have confidence that I am His child, He loves me, and knows what is best for me and when I need it.
So if you are facing a tough challenge right now, might I encourage you to check your confidence. I hope this has encouraged somebody out there tonight. Know that you are loved and that God has good things in store for you. Let's all stand like trees my friends! ♥ D+C